I had a stupid spiritual retreat today… a 12-hour one!! I wasted 12 hours of my life locked in that place and swallowing all my emotions.

If I had to rate it, i’d give it a 30 out of 100.

You’re probably wondering what was I doing in a spiritual retreat?? well, that’s because i attend a catholic school, even though i’m not even catholic lol.

Anyhow, at the beginning of the retreat, the people in there gave us an album that our parents secretly made for us and there were a lot of pictures of us and letters… I’m an extreeemely emotional person, so it was hard for me.

My album was hand-made, and my mom did it and it had letters from my grandparents, my aunt, my cousins  >~> lol but their letters really made me cry… I used to be mean to my family when i was a kid so i still feel guilty when I see that they love me and i’m an ungrateful bastard… specially my little cousins and my grandparents, those 4 are really special for me… i’d love to be with them all the time but i’m such a closed person and saying my emotions is just too hard for me.

I don’t remember when was the last time I said “I love you.”

I hope they know I do love them though…. that retreat only made me realize well not only me, also the rest of people lol how ungrateful, rude and unworthy i am as a daughter, grand-daughter and sister/cousin…. i really don’t deserve to have such a cool family… and to my other family, i love them as well but they are all dead… maybe that’s why i was mean to everyone when i was young. Also, the bullies asked me to forgive them for their bullying to me. And I forgave them.

I decided I need to “clean up” everything before I go and disappear from this ugly place.

The only good part in there, are my friends. Friends, if you are reading this, I promise you I’m going to be 80% more open with you and I’m going to tell you my feelings and all from now on~

Moving on, lately i’ve been having weird feelz inside me… since Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi came into my life.

I used to have feelz in middle school regarding anime but this is different. I CKAENT EVEN EXPRAINE WAUT I PHHEER is not my usual fangirling-self…. these are not usual fangirl feels.

Not this time.

Now I have the fucking need to worship Nakamura Shungiku-Sama and kiss the floor his shoe sole touches and lick the toilet he sits in. Seriously.

People, if you haven’t read Sekai Ichi Hatsukoi then you don’t know what’s the meaning of life. I’m not even kidding. It’s a mother fucking masterpiece after Murakami-Sama’s Gravitation.

I dare to say it is my new favourite anime… after Gravitation, of course.

Btw, I just realized I have a thing for uke regarding anime…. probably the only seme i like is Yuki Eiri, but the rest are all uke.

Ritsuka, Misaki, Ciel, Wolfram, and now Ritsu…. ugh I can’t, they’re too precious and perfect.

But well in my MY opinion, Sekai Ichi is like 60% better than Junjou Romantica. Hands down.