19 days that almost seem like 18 years… yeah, this sure is tiring as fuck.
But just like my grandpa told me once, if I had to take 100 steps to reach the finishing line, I can’t just give up at 99… i need to make it through this. I fucking know It because this is personal. I know imma be laughing and rolling in happiness after this 19 days go by.
But well, lately i’m 90 times more tired than ever… even if i sleep early. My body’s preparing for the all-nighters i’ll have to pull in the finals week. But i am ready :)
Anyways, I still have this weird feeling inside me and idek what is it… the tiredness is affecting my brain performance. Also, lately I’ve been thinking a lot about my future children and how I want them to be. I already made plans lol
My friends and I were going to have a serious talk tomorrow but not anymore. Hm I’m concerned about them and I’ll try my best to help them because they are having a rough time regarding their future. The worst part about being a senior is being asked about your fucking career choice ever 5 seconds, and they hope we fill their expectations.
“I wanna be a lawyer”
“I want to be a doctor”
But have they thought that some of us are not like that. Some of us want different things, and however we choose to live our life, if it makes us happy then that’s better.
But i fucking hate people that gives up without even trying.
I know someone or well, quite some people that live with anxiety but they don’t know it yet. Both of them are making terrible life choices… Well, not terrible but they’re not even trying to follow their dreams, claiming it’s “impossible”.
Consider yourself banned from my “People I can Tolerate” LIST if you ever say that to me. Because how could you know if you haven’t even tried.
But well fuck it, even if it makes me angry I guess the change is on oneself. YES, that’s the key. Don’t expect people to help you build your life or do things for you all the time, bitch.
You have to make a fucking effort if you want good things. Whatever it is.
And well, I’m still really confused about the scholarship… idk what to do really….
But well, I’m off to read some more Death Note :B
The uke of the day is Shindou Shuichi my ex alter-ego.