I was trying to think in what would be the best way to die like 3 days ago… at the end I was way too coward. I have (had?) low self-esteem and I couldn’t see anything positive in my appearance. Waking up and seeing an ugly face in the mirror is so… idek it feels gross. I fell asleep wishing I could wake up prettier. I was writing a long-ass post in here about my ugliness and how bad I felt over being so fucking ugly and disgusting…. but then I was like, what’s the point?! after all thinking about it just makes me feel worse!! So I deleted it.
Yet today I fucking drank a mug of milk and i took a sip of light beer.
Hmm I don’t wanna get fat but I know my body loves me so nothing will happen, only good things.
My legs hurt so much this past two days due to self harm….
My self harm weapon is pilates, lol. YES omg it is SO DAMN PAINFUL!! But I’m seeing good results. She told me my butt got bigger LOL I was freaking out because i didn’t knew if that was a good thing tho haha then my mom and her told me it was a good sign xD I also have that line in the middle of my semi-flat/semi-flaccid abs xD HAHA
OMG I HAVE WRITER’S BLOCK PLZ HALP? Idk what to do i have all this ideas but idk how to…. make them words and write them down.
Btw I think I’m fucking drunk and I only took 1 sip of beer wtf?! I went to the mirror and my face is all red OTL i swear, it was ONE SIP!! and omg I’m taking medications for my sore-throat, Am I going to die?? hence the title of this post but i swear it was one sip!!
I FINISHED MY AU PAIR VIDEO!! And my au-pair album is 90% done. Ughh I’m so nervous~ I’ll probably go turn in everything tomorrow, and when I do I only have to wait for the agency to set up my profile and then for a family to pick me!! :DD I’M SO NERVOUSSSS!!
P.S. PLEASE PLEASE, THIS IS A SHAMELESS ADVERTISEMENT, OMG PLZ WATCH IT?? THANKS!!