Do you like my new theme?? I also re-vamped my playlist ^^ That song is so beautiful, I really love it ㅠ~ㅠ It makes me feel like I’m in a fantasy world or something.

Lately I’m really scared.

I submitted ALL my documentation to the agency last week. I am so nervous because the only thing left is waiting for the chinese translations and after that, my profile will be up in the Au Pair site for the chinese families to see it.

In fewer words, I’m this close to get picked by a chinese family.

I was really excited about it a while ago but now I’m really nervous. I don’t know if I’m supposed to feel this way, but lately I’ve been thinking a lot.

Three days ago I kinda gave up on it and thought, “What I really want is Korea. I don’t know if I really want to live in China for 6 months…” and now I’m so confused because a part of me wants to go to china and another part of me doesn’t.

I’m so nervous.

Plus, I don’t get to choose the city. It depends on the family that chooses me, and my three options are Guangzhou holly sacred krisus land, Foshan and Shenzhen. In fewer words I don’t get to learn mandarin but hey, I’m looking at the positive side: if they happen to teach me mandarin at school (my host family pays for my chinese classes) then I’ll eventually learn cantonese y'kno, cuz of survival and I’ll end up killing two birds with one stone xDD That is exciting.

But I’m still nervous.

Really nervous.

I’m not a family person so being away from them doesn’t worry me at all, what worries me is leaving my comfort zone, a.k.a my room and my lazyness. 

But this is destiny. If you read my old entries you’ll realize why.

China appeared in front of my eyes two times!! It was too much for it to be a coincidence tbh. 

Last week I saw my best friend for the first time in like a year. We’ve been best friends since 15 years ago!! Can you believe it? :o And I told her about this. Well, I couldn’t tell her all this because we were surrounded by people, but I told her that I was worried and the destiny thing lol and she told me,

“If everything you’ve seen and done so far points to something positive, you don’t have to worry. Most likely, something good will happen to you in China, this is why there are so many signals for you.”

I thought about it and my worries disappeared.

But yeah, I’m still scared and also excited… I don’t know what to do.

Good thing Tumblr is available in China!! xDD