Lately I’ve been a terrible and disgusting person….

I’m like, “meh eating this won’t change anything” *eats a piece of bread* and … basically i’ve been doing that all week, but today was … terrible. I ate a plate of deep-fried bananas with condensed milk and at night half a peanut butter-jelly sandwich…

DUDES, IT’S BEEN 2 YEARS since I last ate peanut butter, no joke!!

But yeah, I was right because eating all that doesn’t change anything… i still weight the fucking same and I haven’t lost any weight.

Last year I used to weigh 71kg (156lb), and considering my ultra-short height of 1.63 (5'4) I was a fucking cow. But hey, before that I weighed 68 (149) and even before, I weighed 76 fucking kg!! (167!!) and all that during middle-high school… dude i’ve always been a fat and disgusting bish.

I was so depressed I self harmed, etc, but then I behaved and that was when I started weighing 68kg. I basically stopped eating shit and drinking soda + 20 minutes of treadmill. But then high school came and I was so depressed, I went back to 71kg… I was completely desperate, I SWEAR!

So then I decided to go to a nutritionist and long story short, here I am today, weighing *heavy breathes because this is the first time I’m revealing my weight to the public* 62kg (136) At first I felt great!! because from 71-76 down to 62 it is a fucking lot!! So yeah I obviously look different and all but then I realized that this is not a good weight.

My nutritionist tells me my BMI and measurements are completely healthy and average, she’s always like “stfu idiot you’re not fat!!” but… I feel like a man. My weight is like…. the weight a man my age would have… not a girly weight. Gross.

So yes, I’ve been so depressed and feeling like shit lately that I stopped taking care and following my diet cuz i’m still with the nutritionist, and every time I visit her she tells me I’ve lost like 10% of pure fat… BUT NOT WEIGHT. I’m losing fat but not weight. It’s good but also bad because I wanna lose weight!!

So I decided to start a new plan.

My first option was buying diet pills. The ones that work, from GNC.

 But just now I decided that I’ll give it a last try. Just with food.

If it worked for me 2 times already, i’m sure this time it’ll work again. After all, third time’s the charm ;;) *double wink*

So from today on, I’ll be taking a picture of all my meals and upload them in here just to see my progress. ALL MY MEALS.

I’ll also be making small daily resolutions, a.k.a, drink 3l of water instead of 2, like I always do, or, replace whole wheat with just fruit, etc XD

So yeah, get ready for bad quality food porn from now on, because my iphone is old and the cam quality sucks.

Wish me luck!