I FUCKING GRADUATED YESTERDAY.

I’M. SO. FUCKING. HAPPY.

LIKE… I CAN’T BELIEVE I’LL NEVER GO BACK TO THAT HELL. I’ll remember high school like a terrible nightmare from which I just woke up from and I barely have any memories of.

That was a fucking terrible school, I studied there part of my elementary years and all 3 years of middle school. But just for the record, my middle school years were way better and I have beautiful memories from it.

I was in a different elementary school but in 6th grade I came to this school. It was horrible but quite fun. I always had the same dream but I was i still am tbh way too scared to acknowledge it, so I felt lost and judged, even if nobody knew what was going on inside my head. Then, I met a person in my 1st grade of middle school. She was fun and cool and I couldn’t believe she liked asian music LOL i thought I was the only person that liked it xD but I wasn’t familiar with Kpop, I only heard J-rock because I could actually understand part of it LOL but anyways we always talked about the bands we liked and even about the dramas we watched xD but one day she came to me and told me: “You HAVE to listen to THIS song.” And from the first moment I heard it, I’m not kidding, I was like this the whole time:

And basically stayed like that for the whole month, until she came back to me and said: “You really need to watch THIS!!”

And from that moment… it was from that very moment when I knew that I SHOULD NOT give up on my dreams just because of other people. No sir. 

You probably wonder why I came to that conclusion? It was because for the first time in my life, I could see people feeling music. I’m not saying that the other groups or artists I liked don’t feel it, but if you are a musical person like me, you’d know. Other people, in my case, rock singers do enjoy the music when they play and all, but you can totally tell in their eyes the real reason why they do it. They don’t even play because they feel like it, but they play just to please producers and “buy” fans by selling their catchy songs to anime producers and use them for their Openings or Closing themes. When they release a new single they only care about selling and all the money they can get from it. I mean, everyone cares about money, but if you are a musician, A TRUE ARTIST, money shouldn’t be your only reason to make music. It can inspire you, but it should never be “the reason why." 

But when I first watched and heard DBSK I felt different. Like they were singing with their souls. I could feel the words and the music. I could feel what was inside their minds and what they were trying to express and tell in their songs. I even felt like I was seeing and feeling the world through them. Through their voices. I SAW THEIR DREAM. I SAW PEOPLE WITH A DREAM, with hope and with love. Love for music and love for effort. Love for their jobs. That’s what I saw, and when I saw it I instantly knew that I wanted to be like them. I wanted to be able to tell a story with my voice and to inspire them, just like they do. I want to show people the same way they showed to me, that we’re equals. That there isn’t a difference between me or them because we’re people with feelings and with dreams and with the same passion. Even if the songs they sang back then were not "theirs” a.k.a, made by other people for them to sing they could still ‘own’ the song and tell people a story with it, like it really was their own story. 

Since then, they became not only my role models but also my muses, my inspiration, my dream, my past, my present and I want them to be in my future as well. 

Every time I felt lost or sad or angry, their music was there for me. They always have a song that is perfect for every moment, and when I was feeling down their music gave me hope and strength to keep going and don’t give up. Then I got to “know” their personalities and everything became way better xD I discovered that they were as stupid and childish as me, and that just made things better :)

Also, I want to mention that the first man I ever loved was him

before him I had a crush on Danny Phantom, but when I met this man, shit got real xDD When my mom saw him she was like,  “he’s really handsome.“ xD

Even to this day, DBSK remains my inspiration. Baekhyun and Luhan inspire me as a person because I think that we have a lot in common, but DBSK are my gods. They made me who I am now. 

I wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for them, tbh.

And before I cry, I’ll leave you with the performance that changed my life.

THIS, IS A REAL PERFORMANCE. The Gods of all Kpop groups.

The gods of your oppars.